Life And Death - Just A Same Concept

*this is my old post in previos blog. and i feel like to post it again, in here*


I knew from experience that sickness is the most difficult condition in our life rather then heartbreak or a wilderness diving trip.


We think life and death or sickness and health are separate phenomena. We never think life and death are the same; that would be illogical. Only one problem, reality isn’t logical, truth is not rational. Only our minds are.
We spent many days trying to make what we sensed to be important to come out. But when we were in the middle of a long painful sickness and the apprenticeship to the art of life and like any apprentice, we did not have the master’s perspective. Desire, sickness, health, remembering, freedom, fear, were things we had not live sufficiently.


We are so egoistical, so arrogant that we want to make reality into a concept, reduce life to a logical idea. We were so busy looking for meaning for “me”, we spent all our time looking for some concept of truth, and couldn’t hear any wisdom from everybody. We usually ended up playing a game of life and pretend. But truth is what is left when we drop all concepts.


All human beings are ill, therefore I am ill. Our sickness will last as long as there is ignorance and self-clinging. As long as beings are sick, I my self will remain sick. When our own health broke, something hard and bitter in us broke as well. But we do learn how to deal with sick and pain. Who is not or ill in some way?? Death is a one thing at which we cannot fail. When we are trying to be strong, defending ourselves, we can’t let ourselves get sick. We force our self to stay well because we don’t feel strong enough to be vulnerable. It is a way of saying I will remain human.


Delusion is a concept. Enlightenment is a concept. Health is a concept, sick is another concept. We seek after health and try to avoid our sickness, seek after enlightenment and try to avoid delusion. All are just concept. Without concept, we find ourselves unbounded, undefined, and our greatest fear is to live without boundaries, without definitions. Everyone and everything can come in.


Finally, all concepts have something to do with a new experience of faith. Not faith as we learn: a compulsory belief in something one can’t really know. There was faith as an ideal. This is more of what I call: “a willingness to take the next step even though what will happen”.

We do not leave make-believe behind when we emerge into so-called-adulthood. We just call it rationalization is more important to life. How difficult it is to know the actuality of our inner voice, to know it is not some fiction we have created, a rationalized mask over our own godless wildness. We want it to be free of our self and were at the same time afraid that to be so was a kind death.


*soraya, 21 oct 2005*